One of these Days...

Along with the hope that comes from the last post, is the goal setting, the planning, the carpe diem. I know, it's a cliche. You say to yourself, "I am going to seize the day! Tomorrow I will dust off that old journal, or that old bike, or that old guitar..." And tomorrow comes, and the old thing, the old part of you that once took so much priority is left sitting in the corner, collecting dust, feeling like an empty teapot.
At this point, you have a choice. You can stop doing whatever it is that makes you neglect the old thing, the dishes, the work, the other hobbies, and go pick it up. Or, you can recognize a bigger truth outside of the guilt of not reaching out to that part of you that was and is no longer a priority. I think for right now, I am going to choose the latter.
This is what that really says to me: Yes, at one time the old journal was very important. I toiled over it and worked to give it attention, a little more all the time. Does that mean that now- years later, that is not a part of who I am? No, of course not. Should I feel guilty that I am no longer pursuing a great love of my life by not using it? Again the answer is no. The truth as I see it, is that those musings, those things of before that now gather dust are important. They are important because without them I would not be sitting here writing about them- they have shaped the person that I am. What is also important are the things that are getting all of my attention now. They are shaping me as we speak, and in a few years they may be gathering dust as I transition into a new phase of discovering the world around me and myself inside of it.
I guess what I take away from this is that we are all dynamic. We move, we change, we grow. There is always a way that we are "carpe diem", but it may not always be the way that we think we should be or the way that we think we are. Yet, if we are willing to relax and trust that we are where we should be, doing what we should be doing, I believe, that when we get to the end- we will be pleasantly suprised at the beautiful quilting of experiences that lies before us. So, I will not say that I will get to something "one of these days". Instead I will say- today is the day. And today is what it is- thank goodness for that.